Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
