$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
