BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
