btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm really busy with my period
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