Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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