I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
