Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
