Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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