You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
