Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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