I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
