I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
