Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
