I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ttyl tear gas
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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