How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
