I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
