Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
a search helicopter?!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
