Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
