So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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