Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
