I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
