Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
