is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
