the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
