Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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