Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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