Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
