I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
