Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
should my penis look like a turkey
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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