We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
