I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
