I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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