We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
