Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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(512): View more from Texas

After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes

Fav 14 1702 4895
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(519): View more from Ontario

Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.

Fav 52 1172 4607
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(216): View more from Ohio

she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

Fav 20 4954 1432
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....

Fav 11 1779 3955
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(407): View more from Florida

I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

(352): View more from Florida

Like they're going to fly away?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

Fav 5 1433 621
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(819): View more from Quebec

Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.

Fav 2 217 71
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(330): View more from Ohio

The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes

Fav 1 79 17
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