Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
only if we run a train.
done.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
