Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
