where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
