New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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