There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
