bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
