Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
