apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
