I smell stomach acid.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize