See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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