Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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