let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
