theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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