it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
