Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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