After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
