I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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